Missionary Organization Announces Bible Translation for Scandinavian-American Cuisiniers

Following success upon publishing Da Jesus Book, a translation of the Bible into the Hawaiian Pidgin dialect, Wycliffe Bible Translators is now setting out to go beyond dialect and into heavy accent, today announcing that they have translated the Bible for Scandinavian-American cuisiniers.  

Lead translator Leun Vellenberg believes Zee Huly Beeble will serve this community for decades to come.  “Scandinavian-American cuisiniers have long been burdened with having to translate from English into their own hybrid dialect.” Vellenberg explained.  “If you’re an average American English speaker, imagine opening your bible to a popular passage and trying to understand ‘Und ve-a knoo thet fur thuse-a vhu lufe-a Gud ell theengs vurk tugezeer fur guud, fur thuse-a vhu ere-a celled eccurdeeng tu hees poorpuse-a.’  That’s what it’s like for the average Scandinavian cuisinier to read your English bible.”

Reviews among the community are mostly positive.  “I’fe-a elveys strooggled tu reed zee Beeble-a in choorch veethuoot sqooeenting my iyes und cumpletely meessing zee meuneengs ooff vurds. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Thees is a reel blesseeng, said Ludvig Bjork, a restauranteur in downtown Dallas.

But fellow restauranteur Spjalle Brodd was not so positive, not because he doesn’t appreciate the translation, but because he has to remove a favorite item from his menu. “I used tu beke-a Izekeeel breed es un eppeteezer fur my gooests. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Boot I feenelly understuud zee text, und it seys theengs leeke-a ‘See-a, I esseegn tu yuoo coo’s doong insteed ooff hoomun doong, oon vheech yuoo mey prepere-a yuoor breed. Bork bork bork!’ I coon’t du thet. Um de hur de hur de hur. I’ll get errested. Bork bork bork!”

Wycliffe’s next project is rumored to be called 7h3 L337 818L3, a translation aimed at the Internet hacker community.